ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
