Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
