Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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