You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
