you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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