just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
