we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
