I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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