I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize