Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just found puke in my bra..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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