That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
