I heard we made out
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
