I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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