So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
