They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
