I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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