Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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