I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
