I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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