He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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