shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im six kinds of drunk right now
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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