Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
