Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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