Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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