Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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