nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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