Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
