i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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