Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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