is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize