HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
