This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
