so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
