im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?