I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES