just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.