he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.