the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Welp...herpes.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
