Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
