I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
