He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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