Christians are straight up FREAKS
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
