Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
