One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My life is pants optional.
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