that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
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we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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