I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
