yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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