Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
