I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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