he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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