How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize