yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize