Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
where am i from again
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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