i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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