I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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