So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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