Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
