Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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