The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
