this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
