Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
