I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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