I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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