is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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