my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
