You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
