i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
