I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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